Our Girls

I was up early this morning, watching as the sun came up, casting shadows through my bedroom, listening to the cars crunch through the ice as people started their day.  I had gone to the eye doctor the evening before and come home with numbed and dilated eyeballs.  I was marveling in being able to see again and planning my day.  I was also enjoying the two little balls of warmth that lay on either side of me, wanting attention.

Indiana (Indi)

Indiana, our first dog, was my "single lady" dog.  I got her when I decided that I was tired of looking for Mr. Right and was happy with how I was...Avi showed up a year later.  I knew he was the one when Indi switched alliances and became "his" dog before we had even moved in together.  Traitor.  She is the favorite amongst well...everyone.  Although trained by me, she is very much a reflection of Avi's personality.  Even tempered, loving, kind, and not afraid to stand up to a bigger dog if she feels someone she loves is threatened.

Hadley

We decided shortly after Avi's first BMT (bone marrow transplant) that we would get a second dog. Hadley, was picked from two litters of about ten puppies.  Avi picked her.  I wanted a boy.  He looked at the pictures for about two weeks and decided she was the one.  I left it up to him because I had picked out Indi and I wanted this to be "our" dog.  We drove to the other side of the sate on a "camping" trip to get her (another story, another time).  She became my shadow and Avi's favorite photography subject.  She also drove us crazy at times when we didn't think we could handle anymore with Avi's cancer coming back, doing another BMT and then finding out that didn't work and he was terminal.  She probably made our marriage stronger because raising a puppy was one of the most normal things we had done as a married couple in the past year.  People think she is crazy, loveable, but crazy.  People thought we were crazy...maybe we were.

Photos by Avi Teres

I think we were smart.  When we found out Avi was terminal, I instantly went into planning survival mode.  What could I do to survive after he was gone?  What would I need?  What would help me cope?  I formed a list of what I thought would be helpful during times when things would feel so sharp...so raw.  I needed him to do a bunch of stuff to help me.  Stuff that never got done.  Stuff that now, seems so unimportant.  I realized this morning, he didn't need to do anything.  He left me with the girls.  Our two "kids" that cuddle with me, when I'm having those raw moments.  Two warm bodied reminders of the wonderful life we had and how full it was, even in the short time we had it.

Avi,

Thank you.

Shawna