Parking Wars

Every time I think my life is really really bad, I watch Parking Wars and I realize that Philadelphia Parking Authority has it sooo much worse. Ahhh the PPA Avi and I know it well. Today is rainy and I'm hoping that it will let up and we can enjoy the 60 degree weather. The munchkin and I are headed out with friends later to see the new Christmas show at the Comcast Center and then on to the Wanamaker building (you may know it from the movie Mannequin) for their light show, Julie Andrews narrates and it makes me cry every year.

Nothing to report on the medical front, just another day of chemo, nausea and exhaustion on Avi's part. I am slowly getting the house to the point where it functions a little better for him when he is on his own. It means a lot of reorganization while I am cleaning, but it will be worth it to make his life a little easier.

People keep asking me if I am ok. I keep smiling and saying "we are doing fine" there is a voice that is wailing "NO!...there is nothing about this that is ok!" in my head when I respond like this and it won't stop, but I can't respond differently either. Then they ask me what they can do, but the few people I have asked for help, have been such a let down that I have started my standard response "Oh no, we are great. There is nothing that I can think of." My head on the other hand is yelling "come and clean a part of my house, make us a meal we can heat up, then maybe we can spend some time together that doesn't involve me cleaning and him feeling guilty for not being able to help." Things were so different 3 months ago, now they will never be the same.

Today I am grateful for....

the rain...

blue mugs...

quiet mornings...

CVS being so close so that I can drop off prescriptions...in the rain

Avi...even sick, he went to chemo this morning

we made it one more day.