3.3

I realize it has been a while since I've last posted. I have no excuse aside from finding it difficult to post during an intense time of personal growth. I think it took all of my brain power and energy to just deal with the day to day this past week and half. That, and I was dealing with a very dramatic amount of vomit...literally. Still trying to get the smell out of my carpets and currently on the hunt for carpet cleaner. More importantly the lessons that I have learned have made me feel stronger and when I look into Avi's eyes I know we have grown stronger yet again as a couple. I don't feel the need to share these lessons, forgive me. Maybe at some point I will, but this is so personal, so deep, and so old, that I feel the need to keep it close, keep it private.

Avi did receive his last dose of Methotrexate last night. He cried, mostly because it is the most foul poison to be given and it makes your body feel like complete crap...time 100. We cried because we know we are on the last lap of this race we can see the goal line and we just want it to be over. Scratch that...we are ready to be looking back at this, instead of forward through it. He was feeling better this morning but later today he will receive his last dose of Chemo for this round before starting a much needed break to get his body ready for Radiation and the transplant. According to the preliminary schedule they gave us he will check into the hospital the middle of March not to breath fresh air until May. For a while we won't even be able to touch, I will have to be gowned, gloved and masked while around him. That will be the hardest, so much of our unspoken comfort comes from just holding hands and mouthing the words "I love you". It will be a challenge but one I'm sure we can overcome just like every other we have encountered.


Today I am grateful for...

Avi's parents...they have showed up time and time again, in emergencies, with food and danish for me, and yesterday with snow boots because I didn't have a pair.

For doctors, nurses and all things medical that will help with Avi's and my future

For slumber parties at Kimb's house. I am sooooooo looking forward to it.

coffee to get me going

laundry to give me something to do

We made it one more day... day 137