Yesterday was rough, not only did Avi and I have to recover from a sleepless night, but we spent much of the morning trying to get vomit smell out of the bedroom. On top of it all, the news of a close friend dying of prostate cancer (we didn't even know he was sick) caused us to spend the rest of the day in tears as we reflected on our own life in the disease. These aren't moments of self pity, these are moments when the weight of it all pushes us down so far that the only way to get back up is to say the words out loud in order to gain perspective. He's afraid of dying...I'm afraid of losing him. We don't want it to get any worse even though we understand that is unavoidable in order to get him better. After it is all said and done, we realize that keeping things to ourselves is no longer an option. When people ask me how we are I am going to speak the truth, I am tired of sheilding others from it.
Today I am grateful for...
Another day
coffee...
anti-nausea agents
tears
time this morning to spend together.
one more day
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