We have beaten cancer! Yes Sunday will be month 4 post-transplant and Avi is getting stronger day by day. Our new challenge has been redefining our "one more day" and what that day looks like. Most recently our obstacles have been Avi getting on a schedule his body can get accustom to, making sure that I keep losing all the weight I gained while he was in the hospital, and dealing with this pesky friend issue. The first two we seem to have under control. The last is why I sit down and blog this morning.
Our friends seem to have been lost in the chaotic storm of cancer. We are looking around and although some of them have found their way to us, others remain missing. Avi and I sat in bed this morning trying to determine if we (ok specifically me) is to blame for this. I think there is some excuse to be made for the idea that at 30-something, our friends may not have been able to handle the process of cancer and what it did to Avi. Where are they now? I constantly wrote emails to various friends letting them know how he was doing, whether or not he wanted visitors, making my number available if people had questions or if they wanted to check on him or see if he was up for visitors, this mostly due to the fact the for most of the time he couldn't be on the phone due to the pain or being dizzy and nauseous. I got few responses mostly saying thank you for the update, some commenting on my strength. Now that we are home...silence. Ok, that isn't completely true, "king douche-bag" as we refer to him, calls often. Avi's supposed "best-friend," the one that Avi feels, betrayed, abandoned and well was a douche bag, is trying this "forgive and forget" attitude. I think we would be more inclined to do this, if there had been an actual apology to both of us before we were supposed to forget. Now, as a big slight to us for Avi repeatedly ignoring phone calls and text messages, we have not been invited to the shore. Which is not, a big deal, except they made sure that those few we are in contact with, are invited. Thankfully we will be on our own little vacation.
How do we move on? How do we allow people back into our lives who haven't been around for the hard stuff? How much do we keep reaching out to people, when we are still so broken from this disease? Should we forgive and forget?
Side note *****Happy Birthday Kimb!!!***
I will be posting more often now that I have had some distance from the hospital. Recovery is just as adventurous as treatment was.
Una Dia Mas!
No comments:
Post a Comment