I always feel bad when I haven't posted in a while. I think it is because I want people to be informed about what is going on. I realize that I can only share so much and the daily life we have isn't so fun to rehash. Avi is set up in our bedroom, in a hospital bed, on pretty sheets, and knows he isn't going to get out of it, ever. There are some days when we can ignore this concept with the sound of visitors, the dogs, movies, and WoW. Then there are days when reality is a dark cloud in our house that just won't go away and we cry a lot.
I have gone back to work after a couple of weeks off. Going to work isn't difficult, I love my job. It is the interacting with the rest of the world and pretending I am ok...normal, that I find challenging. This is much easier to do when I'm not worried about what is going on at home with Avi and his care. We have AMAZING friends who are volunteering their time to stay with Avi so that I can go to work for a few hours each day, which is all I can handle. They are a gift, and I will never be able to repay their kindness, and loving generosity. If they are reading this...You guys are amazing and we are sooo incredibly blessed and grateful for you. Thank you!!
Since I seem to be on a grateful kick...
I would also like to thank our New Year's Eve fairy...um, maybe "elf" would be a better word. He truly helped make our celebration a "bubbly" one. I will remember it always, the look in Avi's eyes when we toasted the new year, "To our friends and family. To our love." You gave us that moment. Thank you!
To our Mets fan: You made sure that I had girl time last week, in an actual restaurant. It helped rejuvenate me more than I could express to you that day. You made my heart feel lighter, my head feel clearer and we can't wait to do Mad-Libs with you!
Our friends from over the river who brought us dinner and took me grocery shopping (so I didn't have to go alone) before Christmas (and the snow storm). You gave up vacation time and took off work to spend time with us, helped clean our house, walk our crazy dogs, and make sure I didn't have to cook for a couple of days. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!
**(To the above mentioned: you have been our rocks, weathering the storm with us, no matter how much we got rained on. Uplifting us when we couldn't do it for each other. We love you all more than you will ever know. You are our family of choice, and we got the best of the bunch!)**
Thank you to the family that sent us two little red angels. It was a wonderful surprise on a day that wasn't going so well. They sat on top of our tree, side-by-side, from the moment we opened them. Perfect.
I am also incredibly grateful for Avi's family, who came and sat with him so I could see the downstairs of my house. You love me, hugged me, shopped for us, and looked through old photos with us so I could hear stories of when Avi was younger. I got lucky when I became part of this family and my heart hurts with the amount of love I have for you. I swear I was Jewish in another life.
Thank you to my family (BFF included) who gave us movies to watch, an amaryllis to grow, and sent me "home" in a box. I was able to hear Avi really laugh, eat Chocolate Charlie in the middle of the night when I was sad, and I got to garden in the winter. It was the BEST Christmas ever. I miss you all. Thank you for the phone calls, those cellular hugs, that get me through my rough days, making me feel closer than the 600 miles that separate us.
I want to thank Avi, for getting me something to keep me from shocking myself on electrical outlets (it happens a lot). Thanks for getting me gloves to keep my fingers warm and for trying to take care of me, even now. For being there to laugh with me and cry. For sharing stories with me and about me. For trusting me with this part of your life. Thank you honey, for being the gnome to my fairy and the turtle to my frog. Most importantly thank you for being there for one more day.
No comments:
Post a Comment